Master of the “too good to be true” ICO, this Cryptfluencer can spin up a new coin faster than you can say “pump and dump.” With a flashy whitepaper full of buzzwords and zero substance, he’s got investors FOMO-ing into projects that disappear quicker than a MetaMask balance during a phishing attack. His favorite phrase? “This token is the future.” The reality? It’s usually just a one-way ticket to the past—your funds, that is!